FC–CPM-2026-3Q-merged - Flipbook - Page 44
tion and a former educator and school counselor, says parents
sometimes step in for reasons that have more to do with their
own experiences than their child’s. As she writes, “parents can
昀椀nd themselves wanting to swoop in and rescue their children in
fear of their child experiencing the same pain that they have.”
That doesn’t mean allowing children to struggle alone. It
means giving them the opportunity to think through a problem,
communicate respectfully and discover that they’re capable of
昀椀nding solutions.
Maybe a classmate hurt their feelings. Before calling another
parent or 昀椀ring o昀昀 an email, ask your child, “Have you talked to
parents can trust that the foundation they have built will serve as
a life jacket as their children navigate life’s challenges.
As parents, we sometimes underestimate what our children
can do because we’ve been doing so much for them. Yet every
time they solve a problem on their own, they’re quietly building
the skills they’ll need as teenagers and eventually as adults.
Of course, there are times when parents should step in. Safety
concerns, bullying, discrimination or situations that place a child at
risk deserve adult involvement. Knowing when to advocate for your
child is just as important as knowing when to encourage them to
advocate for themselves.
them about it?” You might be surprised how many con昀氀icts can
be resolved with an honest conversation.
Perhaps they forgot their homework, misplaced their soccer
cleats or left their lunch on the kitchen counter. While it’s tempting to rush in and rescue them, natural consequences often
become the lessons they remember most. Chances are they’ll
double-check their backpack the next morning.
The same is true in our communities.
Locklin also reminds parents to pay attention when a child
shows persistent anxiety, emotional dysregulation, signi昀椀cant
changes in sleep, low self-esteem or self-harming behaviors.
Rather than viewing these as signs of failure, she encourages parents to see them as invitations to connect and, when appropriate,
seek help from a mental health professional.
The goal isn’t to raise children who never need help. It’s to
raise children who believe they can handle life’s everyday challenges—and who know when it’s appropriate to ask for support.
One day, our children will leave home. We hope they’ll know how
to make good decisions, solve problems, communicate with others
and contribute positively to the communities where they live.
Those lessons don’t begin when they move away for college or
start their 昀椀rst job.
They begin with the everyday moments when we choose not
to solve every problem for them, but instead stand beside them
as they learn to solve it themselves.
Sometimes the greatest gift a parent can give isn’t the answer.
It’s the con昀椀dence to 昀椀nd it. ◆
I
f a child has a question at the library, encourage them to ask
the librarian. If they’re ordering at a restaurant, let them speak
to the server themselves. If they need help at summer camp,
challenge them to 昀椀nd a counselor before reaching for the phone
to call home.
These may seem like small moments, but they teach con昀椀dence, communication and independence.
Locklin compares parenting to teaching a child to walk along
the shoreline. In the beginning, we are close by, ready to o昀昀er
a hand when the big waves come. As children grow, she says,
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RAISING THE COAST //
44 // COASTALPOLITAN MAGAZINE // FALL 2026
CPM-2026-3Qp03-xx.indd 44
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